Fake it till you…. huh? Why?

We all find ourselves in that state of fake it till you make it at one time or another. That feeling that you're lucky to have the job you have (the “ssshhh, I hope they all think I know what I’m doing” moments). You know you're smart. You know what you're doing, yet here you are questioning it again. How did we get here?

We have imposter syndrome in so many parts of our lives.  At your job, as a parent, as a person just existing on this planet! 

How did this happen?  I used to be so cool!!

Think back on your career journey. When you started, you more than likely didn't feel like you weren't worthy of your first job. You probably thought, yeah I deserve to be here. I worked my butt off in college and this is when I get compensated for that. In fact, during your first few years of working, you probably continued to think that. That is, until the corporate environment began to show itself.

How many times were you told you "weren't ready" for a promotion. Or were passed over entirely from being considered because someone else had a friend in a high place. How many times were you told there are 100 people waiting for this job if you don't want it? Oh my gosh, I can't even tell you how many times, in entertainment, I was told I was lucky to have XYZ company on my business card and if I wasn't happy someone else would be. I was constantly reminded how replaceable I was - even when I probably wasn't.

We were constantly cut down in value. Why?

• Because it served the company.

• The company kept you at a lower pay because it was better for their bottom line.

• The company convinced you that you were replaceable so that you stuck around and worked all the extra hours and gave all the extra effort because in reality, it was really difficult and costly to try to replace you.

• The company passed you over for that promotion because they didn't want to have to recruit for your current position.

But what did that do to you? It made you feel like you were replaceable. It made you feel like you were not worth more. It made you feel like you weren't worthy of more. 

That's where the imposter syndrome came in.  

Is it just me??

According to an article in Psychology Today, around 25 to 30 percent of high achievers may suffer from imposter syndrome. And around 70 percent of adults may experience “impostorism” at least once in their lifetime, research suggests. Imposter syndrome was first documented in high-achieving women in the 1970s. While imposter syndrome is still more prevalent among women, and specifically women of color, men are also susceptible to developing this mindset.

Ok, how do I find my way out of this?

In her post for the Cleveland Clinic, Dr. Susan Albers recommends a few things:

• Recognize that just because you think these things doesn’t mean they are true. remind yourself that you know more than you think you do

• Take note of your accomplishments: In moments where you feel less-than, it can be helpful to have a tangible reminder of your successes.

• Hang a card that your child made so you can see it and remind yourself of your accomplishments outside of work.

• Stop comparing: Focus on measuring your own achievements instead of holding them up against others. We all know that that curated instagram feed is just that - curated and not real life. Don't compare yourself to what has been carefully planned to look perfect.

And Dr. Alberts reminds us that the very important fact that you recognize it in yourself says a lot about you.

“True imposters don’t have this feeling.”

Oooh, that last one, am I right??

My personal out...

For me, eventually what allowed me to overcome it once and for all was launching my own company. Yes, I still thought - oh wow someone will think I don't know what I'm doing but guess what? I did know what I was doing and the clients that I engaged with valued my input. That value fed my confidence which allowed me to perform at higher levels which, yep you guessed it, made me more valuable. And the circle continued.

Plus as an added benefit, you get to dictate who you work with. You get to choose to work only with those who value you. And that feeling of control is irreplaceable.

The company will benefit from your confidence because the company is you. 

And newsflash -  you are not replaceable.  You are valuable and worthy and really, really special.

For a deeper look into my own imposter syndrome, check out my latest podcast, Thriving in the Chaos with Dorothy Kolb.  Now available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher or wherever you grab your podcasts!